I read an article today about how parents are creating narcissistic children. This was an interesting article to me since I do have two young babies that I am beginning to learn how to raise. This article was about how parents would over value their children and the accomplishments that they have done. Although all parents should be proud of their children your children cannot always be the best and win in everything they do, that called life. The article was saying how the parents who create these types of children could either be overvaluing them or abusing them. Children are very good at coping with things and reflecting their emotions out on other people such as they will be very narcissistic because they actually feeling unstable and insecure but does not want anyone to know that. More and more kids are said to have these tendencies and I believe that this is such an important topic since our children are the next generation in the United States. We as a society are making it impossible not to raise these types of children since now every child receives ribbons no matter what place they got and parents are so scared of hurting their kids feelings so they never get told that you lost and to try again instead everyone wins. That is teaching these kids to put themselves on a pedestal and thinking to highly of themselves instead of showing them that you have to work hard to get what you want and when you fail to try again.
Parents need to worry more about being parents and less about being their "friend." We need to fix this thought process before it gets out of hand and the next generation of children are all narcissistic. This article brings up a good point that not all hope is lost because they can fix this behavior by psychotherapy, group therapy, and family therapy. I believe that people need to go back to being parents and stop trying to be friends or worrying about what other people are going to say about how they discipline and start doing it again. There are many methods about children behaviors like sugar makes them to hyper, the child is immature so we will have her repeat school so she'll do better, or she's writing her letters backwards so she must be dyslexia are some methods that we talked about. I do agree that some things are genetic and there is nothing we can do about it but I believe that most of it is parenting and how they raise their children that really effects these methods. For example maybe the child is immature because the parents are babying him or her at home and therefore creating that immature behavior.
As a new-dad-to-be come September, I've been doing constant research and reading on different parenting styles and general advice. I believe that it's vital to establish confidence in your children, and while I don't think you should over-award certain behavior, I do think that almost every positive action should be at least acknowledged to an extent. As parents we need to help our children gain the emotional tools that they lack; for example, a child losing in a sports championship provides a feeling of sadness to the child, which can then be a teaching point as a parent - they shouldn't necessarily receive an award (albeit a 2nd place trophy!) it should still be acknowledged. By acknowledging the loss and helping the child understand it's okay to feel sad, you are giving them the emotional tools to self-soothe and thus creating an increased self-confidence while not creating narcissistic tendencies.
As a side note, Amanda, I highly suggest the book "Raisining an Emtionally Intelligent Child" by John Gottman - excellent read on parenting!
This is a great topic!! I am not a parent yet so I cannot speak from experience, but I think both you and Sean bring up such great points. I do not think children should be receiving ribbons for everything they do because that is not reality once we get older… sometimes we don't get the job we were hoping to get or we don't always get into the schools we dreamed about getting into. Thankfully, my parents taught me from early on that it is okay to feel sad sometimes when things do not go the way I wanted them to go, but I have learned so many coping skills! Thanks Amanda and Sean for sharing your experiences!
Being a parent is he hardest job I have ever had and still have and would never change it . It is sad to see how the world has changed from when I was amid myself for example in sports no one loses the baseball game or they don't keep track of the runs. This was so ridiculous when my son was in baseball, he even thought it was not appropriate as we raised him and my daughter that you do not always win and that is ok. Unfortunately there are too many people that do not believe this way of thinking and they are the ones always having to be politically correct. I would like to see the world back how it was when I was growing up, ther were winners and losers and everyone played to the best of their ability.
If you don't learn to lose when you are young, how do you learn how to cope with loss? How do you deal with rejection? Teaching children at an early age about how to deal with these issues is essential to creating an individual who can understand that they are not getting what they want and being able to deal with it. What we have now is a generation of victims who whine and cry if things don't go the way they want instead of working for it.
The popular media and self-help industry is rife with extraordinary claims. Alien experimentation, psychic detectives, mediums, ESP, extreme therapies and miracle products are all examples of how pseudoscience and the paranormal have become prevalent, popular and even an extremely lucrative enterprise. The majority of these examples defy the basic laws of science, logic and common sense yet they appeal to a large number of people. Here we will use science, specifically a psychological perspective to explore these popular theories and claims, and learn to think critically in order to be able to constructively evaluate them.
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As a new-dad-to-be come September, I've been doing constant research and reading on different parenting styles and general advice. I believe that it's vital to establish confidence in your children, and while I don't think you should over-award certain behavior, I do think that almost every positive action should be at least acknowledged to an extent. As parents we need to help our children gain the emotional tools that they lack; for example, a child losing in a sports championship provides a feeling of sadness to the child, which can then be a teaching point as a parent - they shouldn't necessarily receive an award (albeit a 2nd place trophy!) it should still be acknowledged. By acknowledging the loss and helping the child understand it's okay to feel sad, you are giving them the emotional tools to self-soothe and thus creating an increased self-confidence while not creating narcissistic tendencies.
ReplyDeleteAs a side note, Amanda, I highly suggest the book "Raisining an Emtionally Intelligent Child" by John Gottman - excellent read on parenting!
This is a great topic!! I am not a parent yet so I cannot speak from experience, but I think both you and Sean bring up such great points. I do not think children should be receiving ribbons for everything they do because that is not reality once we get older… sometimes we don't get the job we were hoping to get or we don't always get into the schools we dreamed about getting into. Thankfully, my parents taught me from early on that it is okay to feel sad sometimes when things do not go the way I wanted them to go, but I have learned so many coping skills! Thanks Amanda and Sean for sharing your experiences!
ReplyDeleteBeing a parent is he hardest job I have ever had and still have and would never change it . It is sad to see how the world has changed from when I was amid myself for example in sports no one loses the baseball game or they don't keep track of the runs. This was so ridiculous when my son was in baseball, he even thought it was not appropriate as we raised him and my daughter that you do not always win and that is ok. Unfortunately there are too many people that do not believe this way of thinking and they are the ones always having to be politically correct. I would like to see the world back how it was when I was growing up, ther were winners and losers and everyone played to the best of their ability.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't learn to lose when you are young, how do you learn how to cope with loss? How do you deal with rejection? Teaching children at an early age about how to deal with these issues is essential to creating an individual who can understand that they are not getting what they want and being able to deal with it. What we have now is a generation of victims who whine and cry if things don't go the way they want instead of working for it.
ReplyDelete